Thursday, January 18, 2024

no Buddhist McMansions

I'm watching Tsinghua University lectures about Chinese architecture over the past 5000 years.

Me: [to Aff] "One of the professors always looks like he's secretly smiling. He looked really happy in one lecture, then he had a less flattering haircut and was less smiley in the second lecture. Now his hair is great again and he's even wearing a very Chinese style shirt."

Aff: "I hope he didn't go through a breakup during the time of the second lecture."


I'm 20% through the lectures. I learned that Chinese architecture was influenced by Confucian values of balance. 

Yin means shade, and yang means sun. The balance of yin-yang means you want a home that's not too big (too much shade) and not too high up (too much sun). The emperor had enormous public spaces, but his private living quarters were similar size to an average citizen.

Friday, January 05, 2024

the emperor's new dress

 I love this post by talented writer Sarah Miller:
I thought a lot about my lying review of that racist, boring, laughable, pseudo-intellectual movie ["The English Patient"]. I thought about how at the time, I was proud of myself for having the courage to make shit up because I was afraid to disagree with someone I wanted to impress, and also afraid of not making money. [...]

If you write thousands of sentences that have absolutely nothing to do with what you think or feel those sentences are still what you will become. You can turn yourself into another person. I turned myself into another person.

That person was very sure she understood the way the world worked. [...]

I used to think I thought the right way, like, who cares if everyone does bad things, because bad things are just what important people have to do. Who cares if Barack Obama bombs people and doesn’t even try to prosecute bankers, because that’s all just his job, and he loves gay people and yells at bigots and his wife is smart and has great arms. Who cares if Hillary Clinton is best friends with Henry Kissinger, because she is a woman and so am I, and she stands up to men, and isn’t that what feminism is all about, finally getting into the rooms, finally getting to be the one to kill the people who don’t matter? Since my life was a fantasy, I had no trouble inhabiting a larger one.

It often strikes me that it is considered immature to be unable to believe bullshit. [...]

Everyone had agreed to care about this thing, to call it good, to give it nine Academy Awards. But it was just a piece of shit sprinkled with glitter that everyone, including me, agreed to call gold.

Everyone talks about the country falling apart in November 2016, but maybe it fell apart in November 1996, when America went to see The English Patient. What if we had all turned to each other and said, “This garbage is our idea of rave-worthy cinema? Anyone else see a big problem here?”, and then there had been a massive riot?

I remember "The English Patient" when it came out in the 90s. Women raved because the male protagonist sewed the dress of the female protagonist. The dress was torn because he ripped it off her body in a fit of lust / passion. 

Tearing the woman's dress apart does not seem romantic. Why ruin the clothing? It would only take a few more seconds to remove it normally! Of course he should sew the dress he destroyed! Otherwise he gets to just mess it up and then get his rocks off and roll over and fall asleep, and she has to sew the dress back together? 

Sarah Miller is one of my favorite writers. She has many insights about the world, and turns them into clear concise stories.

Thursday, December 28, 2023

home alone letter writer

Today I read this advice column letter in the New York Times:
I am 68 and live alone in a nice home in the suburbs. My only child, 40, is happily settled with his fiancée in another city. I always hoped they would come back here to raise a family, and I offered to give them my home if they did. They like the idea and plan to build a new house on the site. Over Christmas, I told them I was excited about their plan and added: “You could build a mother-in-law apartment for me or even a guesthouse.” It’s a large lot. My son burst out laughing and said, “Mom, you wouldn’t live with us.” They assumed I would move into a condo. I was shattered!

The columnist replied:
I don’t think a reasonable person would expect the gift of a home to include your continued residency in it — unless you mentioned that fact.

American society is so different from Chinese expectations! I can only imagine how Chinese netizens would react to a son who wants to take over his mom's house but laughs at the idea of letting her stay in a detached unit on the lot. 

The US has sky-high demands on parents taking care of kids, but nothing in the other direction. If a parent said they wanted to take over their teen's inherited trust fund and then kick the teen out to live on their own, people would be aghast! Yet they don't blink if someone is doing it to their mom instead of their kid. 

American parents invest so much time and money into their children, with little hope of caretaking in their older years. It's interesting.

Monday, December 25, 2023

strength

My mom and I have been strength training together for 6 months. I found a YouTube channel of a Japanese-American personal trainer with her 82yo mom. We are their perfect target demographic! 

Four times per week, we do an hour of these exercises. My mom is very graceful! She was a gymnast as a child, and it still shows in her fluid movements.

I see my mom getting stronger over the months, and her balance has improved. It is so satisfying to see. 

Saturday, December 23, 2023

sweetbitter

I think it's safe to say I've broken free of my sugar addiction. It was difficult the first few days, and I felt urgent cravings that lasted for an hour or more. But now it's easy. I don't really think about sugary foods or this sugarfree experiment.

In the first week, I spent 10+ hours watching videos about the history of sugar. The British created colonies and enslaved Caribbean people on cruel sugarcane plantations. That has evolved today into the descendants working in indentured servitude on sugarcane farms, only earning enough money to eat one meal per day. They can only get medical care from the sugar company, which charges them hyperbolic fees. 

Up until recently, marketing led me to associate sugary desserts with celebration and self-pampering. You can't have a birthday party without a cake. Or a wedding without one. There's no funeral cake though. People celebrate team milestones with Krispy Kreme donuts or Sprinkles cupcakes, not with a veggie platter. The marketing for sugar is impressive.

I've eaten two sugary items in the past 1.5 months. The first was a slice of key lime pie with friends. Before eating it, I was worried that a single bite could send me on a sugar binge, like how a sip of alcohol will cause some ex-alcoholics on a bender until they hit rock bottom again. Luckily, that did not happen. 

The second sugary item was a crème brûlée at a restaurant. The first few bites were great. But after I finished eating it, my heart started beating so fast, and it was physically uncomfortable. I felt ill. Sugar is poison.

My plan is to keep eating like this henceforth. I haven't yet been confronted with difficult tests like a dessert buffet. Hopefully by the time those happen, my body will be even more recovered from my sugar addiction, and I will be able to stay on the wagon.